We are so happy to announce that our family is growing even more. We are going to have another baby, and that baby just so happens to be a little girl! We found out her gender on June 12th, which is the same day two years ago that I found out I was pregnant with Owen. The timing of finding out I was pregnant was also perfect. It was just a few days after Owen's birthday and was such a gift to discover a new little life during the anniversary of Owen's six weeks. It felt like a birthday present.
We had a trip planned to the mountains the day after our anatomy scan. We decided to bring up pink balloons to release to her big brother in heaven. The walk up the mountain that day was redeeming in a way. Eleven months prior, we carried Owen's ashes up the mountain. This day, we had a new little life growing and pink balloons. I dream of the day we will be able to carry this little girl up to visit her big brother. He will always be a part of her life.
Oh, how I wish Owen had been strapped to his daddy's back looking around at everything that day. He would have loved it. How is it possible to feel so much joy and sorrow at the same time? My mind is boggled by this. I've never experienced anything like it before.
Owen's meadow was beautiful. It couldn't have been any more perfect unless he had been there too. Releasing the balloons was symbolic and so special. Our babies are connected and always will be.
I love looking at the smiles on our faces in these pictures. They show genuine joy. I never thought it would be possible to feel such joy again. This can only come from the Lord. He continues to work in our grief and reveal promises to us again and again. My heart may never be completely full until heaven because part of me is already there. Owen has given me an eternal perspective that I didn't have before. He continues to teach me things and be present in my life in such powerful ways.
We appreciate your prayers during this pregnancy. It would be so easy to let fear take over and spend every hour worrying that we will have another sick baby or worse, lose another child. We are thankful that so far, all of our scans and tests have come back great and she looks healthy. We will have a fetal echocardiogram in a couple weeks where they will take a closer look at her heart. I love my team of doctors and know that we are in the best hands. It just so happens that one of the pediatric cardiologists in my practice here in Charlotte was a fellow at Egleston when Owen was there. He knows all about Owen and his heart defects which is such a comfort. He also did his residency with my cousin in Atlanta, so we had a personal connection before he even worked with Owen. I remember him coming up to us on our second or third day in the hospital and told us that my cousin told him we were there. I can't tell you how many times things like that happen with different people It feels like such a small world sometimes! I love how the people we encounter are never by accident.
Baby girl Parker is due in November. I have to share one last thing. My Paper Source calendar had arrows on it in the month of February which was so appropriate for Owen's birthday. A few months ago, I got a call from my friend Carrie telling me that the mini Paper Source calendar has arrows on it in the month of November this year! I went straight to the store and bought it. I really do believe that this is God's way of showing up again and again in the small things, just like he did over and over again during Owen's life at Egleston. It gives me so much peace and calms my anxious heart.
Baby girl, we love you and can't wait to meet you! xoxo
