a few more changes

I haven't written about our recent changes because in the grand scheme of everything, they seem so insignificant. We are thankful that a new home and  a new job for me has fallen into place.

In June, I was hired as an SLP at a multidisciplinary pediatric clinic that is very reputable here in Charlotte. I feel honored to be a part of their team. I spent the last six years working in the schools full time and additionally part time at a small private practice. This is a bit of a change, and it has kept me quite busy. It feels good to work again and get back in a routine, although I grew quite accustomed to staying at home and having time for more things than I usually do. I have met some great people at my new job which I am thankful for. Because of Owen, I look at my work in a different way. I am able to relate to the families I work with so closely without them even knowing it. I also have a new compassion for my patients after all all we went through during Owen's life that I wouldn't have had otherwise. 

On August 28th, we closed on our first home. The home buying process wasn't necessarily smooth, but now that we're in our new home, it's all a blur. Maybe it's similar to childbirth on a much lesser scale... You forget the pain when you see your precious baby's face for the first time.

We moved in from the apartment we were living in temporarily (which is five minutes from the house) with the help of some very dear friends. 

We love this home so much. It is an older house with lots of charm, and it's in a great location. On our first night moving in, seven people came by to introduce themselves and welcome us to the neighborhood. I visited forty-three houses in Charlotte with our sweet realtor, but none of them compared to this one. It was meant to be, and we are thankful to start our family memories here. 

Even in this new home it feels like someone is missing. Someone is missing. He will always be missing for the rest of our earthly lives. One of the bedrooms in our house feels like it should be Owen's. Most of the baby items were taken to Brian's parents a few weeks after he died, but I kept a few special items that I wasn't able to part with. And then there were random items like bibs and a puj tub that were mixed in with miscellaneous items in boxes when we moved. Unpacking those items was so strange. I unpacked the chalkboard that I used to count the weeks of my pregnancy. It still says "Baby Owen - 40 weeks!" It's hard to believe that there should be an almost seven month old baby here. I see pictures of other babies born around Owen's birthday, and they all look so big. They're sitting up and smiling and interacting... I wonder what Owen would look like at that age and wish for those moments and memories we never had with him. 

I'm waiting for the day when the shades of my "darkened glasses" are clear again. I long for my heart to be made whole and for the emptiness I feel to go away. Sometimes I get discouraged that it still hurts so badly, but other days I'm truly amazed at how well I'm doing. I know we all live every day by the grace of God, but for the first time in my life, I can truly say that it is only by God's grace and strength that I am able to live and move forward in life. Missing him, loving him with all my heart. Sweet baby boy. 

Christmas in California

Several months ago, we decided to spend Christmas with my parents in California. It would be our last time to go before the baby arrives! I was 31 weeks pregnant at the beginning on the trip, and 32 weeks on the way home... Flying while pregnant wasn't my favorite, but I'm glad that didn't stop us from going! I just love it here. I'm thankful for the two years that my parents have been able to be here and for the opportunities I've had to visit and see parts of the country I hadn't seen before. Natalie and Dan had a week off work and school, so they met us there. We missed Scott, Shelby and John!

One of the highlights was Walter. We just love this goofy muppet of a dog!

The day after we arrived, we went for a hike at one of our favorite spots. We didn't plan on hiking the entire trail, but I was feeling good, so we made it the entire 8 miles! I opted for the less strenuous route this time, but was proud I made it the whole way... braxton hicks contractions and all!

Another favorite thing to do in LA is shop. There are so many unique shops around in different parts of town. Everything was so festive for the holidays.

Venice Canals. Another favorite spot. It's a five minute walk from my parents' apartment, and it never gets old!

Walking home along the coast at sunset. Another favorite.

On Christmas Eve, we drove up the coast to Big Sur National Park. This is the most beautiful drive ever. We made several stops along the way ! First stop was in Santa Barbara. It was a gorgeous day.

Mom and Dad at another scenic overlook. The highway is just to the right along the mountains. 

It just kept getting prettier and prettier. 

On Christmas morning, we took a little hike through the Red Woods. I actually didn't make it very far this day, but still got to enjoy the scenery.

We walked to the water before sunset. It was gorgeous.

Every night, we played Hand & Foot - such a fun card game. We took snacks to the lodge and played by the fire. So cozy.

Before heading back to Marina del Rey on the 26th, we took a hike a few miles north of our cabin along the coast. This was my favorite part of the trip. It was so pretty! 

The drive home was just as lovely as the drive there. 

We even spotted whales! We stopped several times to watch them. 

I wish I took pictures of the restaurants we ate at. Joe's and Gjelina were the new favorites... On our last night, we went to the Getty. This museum is really beautiful. Gorgeous views and beautiful grounds. I'm not much of a museum person, but I'm glad we went!

It tuns out that this was our last trip to LA while my parents are living there. They are moving back to FL on January 15th. I'm even more thankful we went out there this time! While I'm sad to see them leave, it will be nice to have them back on the east coast, especially with the baby coming so soon! Thanks for having us, Mom and Dad! It was such a fabulous trip! 

Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving break was filled with family and friends. Carrie and Andrew stopped by for dinner on Wednesday night since they were spending the holiday with Andrew's sister here in GA. It's always so fun to have them over! 

Brian's parents and brother came down for a few days, so we celebrated Thanksgiving with them! Toby loves visitors. :)

Here we are on Thanksgiving Day! 28 weeks pregnant. Next year, we'll have a 9 month old! Hard to believe.

Our niece Meg wore one of my turkey onesies. So festive!

I love this picture of the whole family.

 Uncle Brian and the nephews!

It was a wonderful week off of work- I got much needed rest and even finished a project for the baby's room! More on that later. :)

O'Steen Family Weekend

My family is spread out across the country. My parents live in California. One brother lives in Florida. The other brother lives in Maine. Sister lives in Virginia, and we are in Georgia! Planning a holiday celebration with everyone together is nearly impossible, especially with everyone's different work schedules. It wasn't working out for Thanksgiving or Christmas, so we chose the first weekend in November to get together. It was the first time in two years we had all been together. Christmas 2011 was the last time I saw Scott! Way too long. I still can't believe it worked out for everyone to come visit at once. It took lots of coordinating on my mom's part with flights, etc., but it was a success!

Since most of us hadn't seen Scott and Shelby since they got married, we decided to have a little wedding party for them. It was fun to celebrate them as a couple!

Scott & Shelby!  

 John & Toby

 So fun to have them visit for the first time!

 Dad and Brian putting together the stroller we got at the shower! I'm so excited about using this soon!

On Sunday, we spent the afternoon at Piedmont Park for some time at the dog park, a picnic, and  bocce ball! It was a beautiful day. 

The whole family (minus Dan, who we greatly missed!)

 Brothers

 All four, plus baby Parker :)

Scott & Shelby

Bocce ball!

 John and Toby took a little nap....

That night, we had a little Christmas celebration... Not your normal Christmas though. Many of you know that my mom has been to a ton of shows in LA with out of town visitors and has won a TON of free stuff. When I call her in the afternoon and her phone goes straight to voicemail, I know she's at a show. Usually winning something amazing. Of course the one time I went with her, all I got was shampoo and conditioner. :) She thought it would be fun to wrap up a bunch of stuff she has won and have a white elephant gift exchange... We all drew numbers and started opening gifts and stealing items we wanted! I wish this could become a tradition. Notice the Justin Bieber Christmas wrapping paper. 

There were some interesting gifts unwrapped... I laughed to the point of tears. Mostly with what Scott opened. Hip hugger ties, Rita Wilson's country CD, shoe pads, and boot straps, gift cards, head phones, a hair straightener, and DVDs are some of the things I remember. 

We spent the evenings playing Dominion, which was a lot of fun. I really couldn't have asked for a better time together. I love my family and am so thankful for this special time we had together.